Things that are Reflecting on Father's Day

Sunday, June 19

I really don't enjoy being "social" on social media on a day where we are supposed to be thankful for our Husband's/Father's. It's great to see so many good and grateful people and their willingness to share their wonderful husbands and fathers. But why is there this need, this draw, to share it on social media? Why not send just send them an email or letter or card to those great men that we care so much about? I think a card is way more sentimental then sharing it with the world wide web. Okay, stepping off my soap box now...

For the infertile crowd Father's Day is a day to feel guilty, to feel isolated, to feel alone, once again for not being a parent, and for not being able to parent - when we so desperately want to. For those that have miscarried it's a reminder that we cannot be with our precious child/children that are now with our loving Heavenly Father. For those that have lost a Husband or a Father, this day is another reminder of how much they are missed and loved. 

Why is there a need to celebrate our husband's? They aren't our Dad's, yes they are our children's father. That man that you married, did not raise you from a child. So we shouldn't need to celebrate our husbands on this day, and we shouldn't need to celebrate us, or us being mom's on Mother's Day. We instead need to be focusing on our father's. So I'm going to focus on my dad for a minute.

Like with what I focused on for Mother's Day, I think it best to reflect on what my Dad has done for me for this Father's Day.

1. He taught me how to drive a standard (a clutch driven car) before the age of 16
2. He told me that I had a "good eye" - that I was good at catching things and finding things
3. He helped me gain my love for traveling, even though I absolutely hate flying, and hate even more being in the car for over 40+ hours driving across the country
4. He gave me my anger and sassyness! ;) In a good way of course :)
5. He helped instill good hard work, and that good things come with working hard

What we should be focusing on is our Father's, Dad's, Grandpa's, Papa's. We should be celebrating what good they have done for us. For one, they helped bring us into this life, they helped raise us. I know there are a lot of circumstances where many did not have a good dad figure in their life. Instead of reflecting on all things that your dad wasn't, let's reflect on a good dad role model. Because he ultimately was the one who made you who you are. And if you say to me, Tedi, I don't have a good dad or role model in my life. Well to answer that, there is one who is the greatest, most powerful, one who we pray to daily, and He's our ultimate Dad - God, our Heavenly Father. So if you feel you don't have a good role model in your life, focus on your Heavenly Father. Because He is the most perfect role model. He is one that we should be looking up to on a daily basis. He is perfect. 

What are the attributes you admire most, in the men in our lives?
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Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are my Favorite Fitness and Fertility Quotes

Friday, June 17

Over the past few months I have been looking at the people/companies/groups that I follow on social media (mainly Instagram), and compiled a few of my favorite quotes. There are definitely lots more I haven't posted, and I may in the future.

Favorite Fitness Quotes:
I completely agree with this quote by SparkPeople. When running or training for a race it's always about us being better than what we used to be. It's improving our times, it's being stronger, it's being better in general. AND it's definitely not comparing ourselves to others.

I don't know how many times I have seen this going around social media, and I completely agree with it. Last year I lost about 10 pounds and there were weeks that I was up on weight and there were weeks that I was down on weight, but the overall progress was downward. I think as long as we're consistent in our progress whether that be weight loss or strength training or running, etc. we will see a change.

Favorite Fertility Quotes:

I don't think this can be just fertility related quote. This is the whole circumference of us that defines if we will progress or not. I don't know how many times I have prayed to be given strength to make it through the day.
I prayed a lot when it came to my marathon training last year. I always prayed for safety while I was out running and to not injure myself. You know what, my prayers were answered and I am so thankful that they were answered, because I'm here I'm healthy and I'm safe. Chase and I aren't done trying everything we can to get pregnant, we haven't failed, but we definitely keep moving forward with treatments, and keep praying for the strength and encouragement to keep moving forward. I love this quote.

I don't know how many times I have gotten others opinions on how I live my life. There was a guy that used to work with me, and whenever anyone would give their unsolicited advice on how to better himself he would say "Don't tell me how to live my life." As you can tell it has stuck with me. BUT we need to let others live their lives and not be bossy. When they want advice they will come ask for it.


Some days are hard. Either with training for a race or to lose weight or being patient while waiting for your next fertility treatment to start (that's me), you gotta remember that you are important and that you really matter. Isn't it funny how you always learn more in hindsight?!

That was me this past weekend. I realized last week that I hadn't cried in over a month (a month, I know)! Then after my final depo-lupron shot I was an emotional mess! I just had to cry and let it all out and move forward, and we're okay this week. Sometimes a good cry will make all the difference.

I'm linking up with Courtney, Mel and Cynthia for this week's Friday Five. (though it's more of like a 6)
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are Paying for IVF Number Two With Cash

Tuesday, June 14

Chase and I felt like we needed to get out of debt. I have had this strong feeling that kept coming back that we needed to become debt free. With debt I always felt like I was weighed down with baggage that just seemed to sit on my shoulders. I always heard this voice in my head that said "you really shouldn't go on that trip because you're in debt," "you really shouldn't buy this or buy that because you're in debt." Maybe it's because the majority of the debt was mine (hello student loans), I'm not sure, but regardless I had that strong consistent feeling.

So with that feeling of not wanting debt, Chase and I both felt like we shouldn't go into debt to pay for IVF. This is the way I see it, you go get out a loan and your cycle fails and you didn't have any embryos to freeze (like what happened to us). I don't know about you, but I would be really upset and would be reminded of the pain of a failing IVF cycle every time I made a payment on that loan.

With our first IVF cycle in January, since my insurance was changing at the beginning of the year, we used all that we could pay for IVF meds with that insurance in December. I still ended up having to pay roughly $2,500 to pay for the meds. At the beginning of the year when my insurance switched we proceeded with our IVF cycle and had a fresh slate to work with. My new insurance unfortunately has a lifetime fertility treatment cap of $5,000, and we used all of that for that one cycle. We also paid a $3,000 deposit to our clinic for blood work and other things the insurance wouldn't cover. I can use my insurance to bill for blood work, but anything more than that, my insurance will not cover. That means everything for our future IVF cycle is out of pocket.

In one of my Facebook infertility support groups, I asked 'how did you go about paying for IVF?' and these are some of the responses I got; couples taking out loans, taking out a second mortgage, borrowing from their 401K, the government helped pay (in other countries), or they used bonuses, etc. It's really disheartening that insurances won't cover infertility and that the majority of these couples are taking out loans to try and have a successful round of fertility treatments.

When we went in for our #WTC (what the crap) appointment, our RE wanted us to do 3 months of depo-lupron shots which is supposed to lessen the endometriosis. While the medicine suppresses my ovaries from producing estrogen, the endometriosis is supposed to start to diminish. This in turn will give me better quality eggs and hopefully give us better quality embryos.

Our next IVF cycle is set for July and my first thought was how the heck are we supposed to pay for this next cycle? I've reached my lifetime cap for infertility coverage with my insurance and we'll have to pay for this all out of pocket. We're also trying to get out of debt - not go into more debt?! Chase and I had to figure out what to do.

We figured we could save $6-8,000 on our own over the course of 4 months, but we needed at least another $6-8,000. We met with the financial coordinator at our clinic and she laid out how much it would cost for their portion. It would cost $9,600 with ICSI and then a wild range of $4-6,000 for fertility medications. They are still going to bill my insurance for blood work. But that's still a lot that we somehow needed to come up with.

At this point not knowing how to pay for IVF, Chase and I decided to hold a fundraiser. We set up a Go Fund Me account for anyone out of town who wished to donate. We wanted the fundraiser to be a big success. We thought we could have a bake sale, yard sale, food trucks, character meet & greets and were considering doing live entertainment.

While getting the fundraiser ready we soon calculated that with enough intensity and determination we could save it all up by ourselves. I know that while what we did may work for some it may not work for all. I listen to Dave Ramsey a LOT, every day while I'm at work. I know he didn't say this word for word, but this is what I felt like I heard him speaking one day on a call in relation to IVF: "You need to put that same intensity in saving up for IVF as you are with getting out of debt." So that's what we did. Though, we did receive help from family and friends it wasn't much, but we mostly saved it up all on our own. 

So this is what we did:

1. Created a budget
2. We cut things out of our budget - not going out to eat (which is still really hard), holding off on buying things, selling all.the.things, staying in for dates rather than going out, not going out to movies, not going on vacation, etc. We basically have not spent any money at all.
3. Paid minimum on all debts
4. Cut our food budget down to $100 a month - making simple meals (eating more beans and rice). I know doing this alone was extremely hard and I had several negative thoughts come to me saying that it wouldn't be possible. I learned that those thoughts were coming from someone other than God, and quickly deflected them.
5. Prayed a LOT for help with saving up money - like A LOT, and being SO thankful in our prayers with a successful fundraiser and being able to save money.

I don't think Chase and I could have done this without the help from God. I have been in such a state of gratitude with us making this decision and God's help with us deciding to start a family. I think He knows we're doing everything we can to achieve our goal. Yes, there have been a few setbacks with saving up, and a few emergencies have come up, but we still have progressed with our saving. Yes it definitely took a LOT of sacrifice, (I really want to go out for ice cream okay!?) BUT it will be SO worth it in the end.

I know that anything is possible with the help from God and from our own hard work and determination.
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are My Favorite Relay Race Foods

Friday, June 10

It's been about 2 years since I have done a relay race - either an overnight relay or a day relay. I feel like I should mention that during that 2 year period of me running crazy relays, Chase and I were still trying to have children by ourselves. In 2013 we went to see our first Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who ran more in depth tests, and told us our only option would be IVF. At that point we didn't know what to do with that huge financial burden, so we took a break. Which meant that I would be running and trying to stay healthy. 

For a while I really enjoyed them, but then I realized that they pushed my body a little too much and I kept injuring myself. Mainly from not knowing how to train for a relay race.

Here are the relay races that I completed:
Top of Zion Relay (I ran in 109 degree heat) June 2013

Women of Steel Day Relay September 2013

 Las Vegas Ragnar November 2013

Rivalry Relay Day Relay September 2014

When you run a relay (either day or overnight) you try really hard to eat the foods that you know your body would be able to handle, and what food you have trained with. For whatever reason I would always have weird stomach issues - like always feeling I had to go #2. TMI? I hope not! ;)

Here are some of my favorites from those relay races:
1. Dr Pepper - I know what you are thinking, but its much needed on an overnight relay when you don't get a whole ton of sleep.
2. Chocolate Milk or Chocolate Almond Milk
3. Peanut M&M's
4. Cliff Energy Bars
5. Black Cherry Shot Blocks
6. Banana's - lots of those!
7. Chocolate Protein Shake (which I prefer Chocolate milk)
8. Fruit Leather
9. Candy - strawberry licorice
10. Water and lots of it! Especially if you run in 109 degree heat.

Have you ever ran a relay? If so, what one? If you haven't is there one that you would consider running? Would you ever consider running a relay race?

I'm linking up with Courtney, Mel and Cynthia for this week's Friday Five.
Other places your can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility

Things that are A Fertility Fundraiser

Wednesday, June 8

Back in March, after Chase and I met with our RE about our next steps we discussed having a fundraiser to help us pay for our IVF cycle. So Chase and I got a little committee together to help us plan and get everything ready.

Before meeting with our committee we set up a Go Fund Me account for those who were out of town who wanted to donate but who were unable to make it to the event. At the meeting we discussed having a yard sale, bake sale, silent auction, a character meet & greet, and possible food trucks. We decided on June 4, because any week in May could bring the possibility of rain. We were thinking of a yard sale with a carnival for the kids: bounce house, balloon artists, face painting, etc. We thought of food trucks, and the possibility of selling "Running with Infertility" shirts at the actual event.

We gave assignments to our committee and we went to work.

A few weeks after our meeting, Chase and I decided we wanted to host a virtual 5k. We thought it would be cool to use my blog's name as the name for the virtual 5k. We decided to do a virtual 5k since it would be quite the undertaking to go the normal route for setting everything up for a 5k. With the cost of insurance, getting vendors and booths, and volunteers, it just seemed too daunting for us.

Our first goal was to get enough yard sale items. So we started asking friends and family for donations. Then our family and friends started asking their family and friends for donations, and our garage slowly filled, and we eventually had to park outside our garage. It was amazing how many people were willing to donate their stuff to us. We ended up having LOADS of clothes.

The next step was to advertise. I asked a blogger group I am a part of, and they had some ideas on where to post things and how to advertise for free.

Chase created flyers for the virtual 5k, and I thought it would be good for us to go handbill cars at other races.

I found a flyer I liked and I mimicked and created a flyer for our event.  It helps to have some knowledge of Photoshop. It took me a few hours to create, but it turned out exactly how I wanted it to. I posted it to a few sites, and I also posted it to as many Facebook yard sale groups that would let me. We also started going to local businesses to get our flyer up and our committee put up them up at their work. We did everything to try and advertise the event and I think we ended up with having around 700 people. I know the event page reached over 7,000 people and so getting at least 10% of those people there was great. 

We used our nonprofit (a post for another day) that Chase and I spent a lot of time working on to help us get those silent auction items for our event. It's also good to have and know connections. We went to people and places we knew. A few weeks before the event we got signs donated by a local company, graphik, that we put up in front of our venue, which happened to be a well trafficked road. 

The week before the event I posted to Craigslist and our local KSL classifieds to get our yard sale out there. I should have posted it a few weeks before, as well as the day before, but with pricing everything for the sale, getting everything loaded into a 26' truck, I didn't have much time for posting things on social media. Which I definitely regret.

The day of the event:

The morning of the event could have gone a little smoother, but this was a learning experience for all of us. We got a lot of donations the night before so it was just trying to get items out and organized to be seen. Within a couple hours we had everything out. The silent auction was up and running and the bake sale was going strong. We had a few vendors show up; my friend Kelsey did chair massages for $5, Enso Rings, Utah Infertility Resource Center, and my friend, Nessa, selling her minifigs (Legos).

At around 7:30/8am Ernies Sports Deli Food Truck showed up for breakfast and stayed until 1pm. We also had Bam Bams BBQ Food Truck show up from 11am-3pm - and I still haven't tried their food. Both food trucks were a big hit! I would have marketed more for them (and I wish they could have marketed for us better too) more if I had known they were for sure coming a week before. 
All Ernie's employees with Leo, War Machine and Iron Man

Chase and I with Bam Bams BBQ

We had character meet & greets with Leo the Lion (Real Salt Lake Soccer Team) from 9-10am. Which seemed like a big hit, but unfortunately I don't think many people showed up to see him. I contacted Party with the Princesses and they were sweet and were able to get 4 characters to come hang out for several hours! We ended up having Snow White, Rapnunzel and Flynn Rider, and Merida. They were a huge hit and I cannot thank them enough! I definitely think they brought more people to our event.

Leo's pretty tough to carry me

Aren't they pretty awesome?!

By the end of the day all of the volunteers including Chase and I, were exhausted (and I'm still recovering from it). We had a really long day of 12+ hours, with getting the event set up and taking everything down. We sold a lot of items at the yard sale, and with silent auction and bake sale we were able to raise $4,000 for The Hope for Fertility Foundation. Hopefully the foundation will hold another event to help raise more money to help couples struggling with infertility.

Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Facebook: Running with Infertility