Things that are Reflecting on Father's Day

Sunday, June 19

I really don't enjoy being "social" on social media on a day where we are supposed to be thankful for our Husband's/Father's. It's great to see so many good and grateful people and their willingness to share their wonderful husbands and fathers. But why is there this need, this draw, to share it on social media? Why not send just send them an email or letter or card to those great men that we care so much about? I think a card is way more sentimental then sharing it with the world wide web. Okay, stepping off my soap box now...

For the infertile crowd Father's Day is a day to feel guilty, to feel isolated, to feel alone, once again for not being a parent, and for not being able to parent - when we so desperately want to. For those that have miscarried it's a reminder that we cannot be with our precious child/children that are now with our loving Heavenly Father. For those that have lost a Husband or a Father, this day is another reminder of how much they are missed and loved. 

Why is there a need to celebrate our husband's? They aren't our Dad's, yes they are our children's father. That man that you married, did not raise you from a child. So we shouldn't need to celebrate our husbands on this day, and we shouldn't need to celebrate us, or us being mom's on Mother's Day. We instead need to be focusing on our father's. So I'm going to focus on my dad for a minute.

Like with what I focused on for Mother's Day, I think it best to reflect on what my Dad has done for me for this Father's Day.

1. He taught me how to drive a standard (a clutch driven car) before the age of 16
2. He told me that I had a "good eye" - that I was good at catching things and finding things
3. He helped me gain my love for traveling, even though I absolutely hate flying, and hate even more being in the car for over 40+ hours driving across the country
4. He gave me my anger and sassyness! ;) In a good way of course :)
5. He helped instill good hard work, and that good things come with working hard

What we should be focusing on is our Father's, Dad's, Grandpa's, Papa's. We should be celebrating what good they have done for us. For one, they helped bring us into this life, they helped raise us. I know there are a lot of circumstances where many did not have a good dad figure in their life. Instead of reflecting on all things that your dad wasn't, let's reflect on a good dad role model. Because he ultimately was the one who made you who you are. And if you say to me, Tedi, I don't have a good dad or role model in my life. Well to answer that, there is one who is the greatest, most powerful, one who we pray to daily, and He's our ultimate Dad - God, our Heavenly Father. So if you feel you don't have a good role model in your life, focus on your Heavenly Father. Because He is the most perfect role model. He is one that we should be looking up to on a daily basis. He is perfect. 

What are the attributes you admire most, in the men in our lives?
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  1. Sounds like your dad is one amazing man!

  2. Wow, really? I think this is post is pretty self focused. I think the need they have to share on social media is probably rooted in the same need you have to share your infertility struggles on social media. For someone who posts public pleas to help fund their infertility treatments, this post seems like someone living in a glass house throwing rocks.

    1. My reason for sharing my infertility journey is to help others struggling, feel as though they have somewhere they can turn to, and have someone they can talk to, and ask questions.
      If you were able to read in one of my previous posts, my husband and I will be able to save up the full cost of fertility treatments by next month. We received maybe $800 total, from family and friends who wanted to help. There was no plea or call for help. We held a fundraiser and the money raised for that will go to help another couple, not us. We were bound and determined to pay for IVF in cash ($14,000-16,000), and have sacrificed by not spending money on things, because we felt this need to not go into debt in order to bring children to our family.

    2. I understand what you are saying about your reasons to blog. Good for you! My point is you shouldn't be judging other people's reasons for celebrating the Husbands on social media. People use social media for many different reasons and if someone wants to celebrate their husband on Fateher's Day, good for them. Just because it upsets infertile couples doesn't mean they should feel bad about using social media for their purpose. If it hurts you, stay off of it on Mother's and Father's Day. Also ( correct me if I am wrong ) you did link a GoFundMe page to you social media account asking for $$ to help with your fertility treatments, I consider that a plea.

  3. I understand where you're coming from, and I know how hurtful days like Mother's Day and Father's Day can be on social media. As someone who has experienced a miscarriage and over a year of infertility, I am especially sensitive to people who are stuggling with these things. However, I think it is very important for us to honor our husband's on Father's Day. I'm thankful for my own dad, but I am extremely thankful that my children have a wonderful father of their own. I gave my husband a card and gift, but I also celebrated him on social media. If anything, I just like having a special picture of him with my kids to remember him on such a special day. Again, I am sorry to you and anyone going through these struggles. I have been following your journey for a long time and bawled my eyes out the day the posted about your in vitro results and miscarriages!

    1. You definitely have a good point to honor your husband being a great father to your children. I would love to be able to honor my husband in being a great Dad to our kids, but because we don't have children we tend to focus on our father's instead. I know that (I included) tend to focus on things that we aren't (not a mother, not a father), and it's even harder on these special days. I was trying to give us something good to focus on instead of the negatives. Thanks for following. :)