Things that are Memorial Day 5k/10k/1mile Race Recap 2016

Tuesday, May 31

I ran this race last year and loved it aside from the massive hills that were at every corner. I was hoping that it wasn't going to be too bad this year. Then I got an email from the race directors who said they changed courses and it will be fast and flat! Woo Woo! 

So I signed up for the race back in April and I was so excited to run the 10k. Since I had never done a speedy training plan. I had to really search and decide what I wanted to do. So I figured out what speed I needed to run the race to be under an hour. It consisted of speed work, obviously.

Let me back up for a minute. I hurt my knee back in February shortly after I miscarried when I stepped and twisted wrong off a ladder. It didn't affect me from walking so I didn't see a need to go see my chiropractor.


Fast forward to the beginning of April. When I started my training for the 10k, my knee started hurting only after I would run, never during. So I finally decided I should visit my buddy, the chiropractor. After a few visits he told me he thought it was something to do with a tendon and said it would probably take longer to heal. At first he didn't want me to run, but after a few visits he said I could run, but to take it easy.

My "taking it easy" turned into not running or doing any other type of physical activity. It was also during this time that I thought I could handle everything going on (fundraiser, work, home life, and trying to run). I got really depressed (from the depo-lupron) and didn't want to do anything - like anything. I could tell something wasn't right in my mind, I wasn't myself. I wasn't thinking logically, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV - which is not like me. I got on a vitamin called Niacin, which I will definitely talk more on in a later post.


Once I started feeling a bit better (mentally) I decided I needed to at least incorporate strength training back into my exercise and that it was OKAY to not do cardio. I started going to Barre, but I wasn't consistent in attending. But I recognized that I felt good afterwards.

So the weekish of the race comes... I go out on Saturday (May 28) and do my best to run a relaxing few miles. I only made it to 1.8 miles before saying my knee was pretty sore and that I should probably call it a day. After that run I decided I probably shouldn't run the 10k, so I switched to running the 5k. I told my running friend Alli, that I would only run it with her if she stayed with me. Because I needed that friend support, and we hardly get to run together.


Alli and I started at a fairly good slowish pace (my watch hadn't gotten satellite signal yet) and I could still talk. Then she found a friend from a previous ward, and we ran with her the rest of the race. I started pushing it, because I normally don't run that fast. It was flat and it felt great!

Well we finished the race in 29:37ish. We started a few minutes after the gun went off so I had to recalculate the time. So that's the time I think I ran... My actual time was 32:37.


Overall it was definitely a FUN race. MUCH better than last year. Last years course was SO extremely hilly!

Will I run this race again - yes! It is a fun tradition! Just no more injuries please.

Pros: Running with friends, Possible PR - hello flat course, Great Food at the end of the race, Lots of people to Run with.
Cons: Lots of people which took us a few minutes to cross the starting line, No race results (it was a free race).
________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are a Book Review: He Remembers the Barren

Tuesday, May 24


I started reading this book about a week after embryo transfer (January 24), which probably wasn't the best idea at that moment (when I started spotting and bleeding more heavily). Well, it took me a while to finish the book which happened to be in April. I am really slow at reading books, and am the type of person that I have to start and finish a book before I can move onto the next one. I also find it hard to just sit and read when I could be cleaning my house, blogging or training/running. Weird Right?! ;)

He Remembers the Barren is by Katie Schuermann, this book is about personal questions women who are termed "barren" have. From questions like "Do I need to be fixed?" to "How long?," Katie, the author, uses stories to help encourage those who are suffering barrenness. She uses the bible as well as examples of Christ to help remind barren women that Christ suffered all.

The book overall was very positive and uplifting and helped remind me that Christ can help me with the pain from infertility. There was one chapter that Katie said things that I didn't necessarily agree with pertaining to IVF. I understood her point of view, but I did not agree with her. By about chapter 2 or 3 I started not liking the term "barren," it left me with an empty, icky feeling. I felt like there could be a better term for barren.

Here are a few of the quotes that I liked:

"Will your faith in Jesus be upset if you do not conceive? Sisters, be wary of such emotional snares that would bind your faith to things temporal rather than to things eternal." This is question that we need to answer: Are we going to be upset at Christ if we don't conceive on the earth? I have a friend who is much older than me adopt 3 or 4 kids because it was cheaper than doing IVF. This friend told me that she has come to terms that she will not conceive during her life here on the earth, but she will know and understand after this life is over, why she was not ever able to conceive. She has such faith and realized that she needed to focus on the eternal perspective rather than the temporal one.

"Some days are better than others...Yet, all it takes is one innocent comment from a stranger, the unexpected sight of a pregnant woman crossing the street... turning our small irritation back into a gaping wound." I cannot count how many times this has happened to me. Where I wake up and I'm feeling good in the morning, but by the afternoon or evening I'm a mess and feel that my infertility wound has been opened once again. I have noticed my wound re-opening more when I'm on social media and see the baby or "trigger" announcements in my feed.

"There is still another way in which God can physically make us mothers, though it means letting go of some of our preconceived ideas of motherhood." This preconceived idea of motherhood, is often thought of as carrying a child in our own womb. We can still be mothers to those children we have adopted. We can still be mothers to those children that are with a mother whose husband has left them/passed on, etc. We can still be mothers to our nieces and nephews, and those children in church who look for a smiling face. There are lots of ways for us to show our mother-like attributes.

"The emotional fatigue of continuing to want something you may never have is draining on any marriage." The first few years Chase and I were married were so hard and draining. We were arguing, I was on anti-depressants, and was seeing a counselor to get through my past. What finally helped us was going to see a counselor together to try and have that desire to make our marriage work. Growing up, one of my friends mom would always say "marriage isn't 'happily ever after' it's you get married and you 'go to work,'" that's what I believe now. Wanting something you may never have, or may never get to experience can be draining on a marriage, but with work and striving to be the best for each other, you can make it work.

"Even if we conceive and adopt, we still carry the painful scars of those empty years of wanting, waiting, and, in some cases, miscarrying." I'm not in that position now, but I want to believe that we will have those scars, and like any scar they serve as a reminder for something difficult you went through. I heard a quote from Dave Ramsey the other day that said "The past hurts less the more you look the other way," and I believe that with all my heart.


____________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are Training for a 10k Week ??

Sunday, May 22

I am not a failure. I have never been a failure. I have just made a lot of mistakes. Lets be real - we're all human, we aren't immortal, so we all make mistakes.

So I had this idea that I wanted to run a speedy 10k. I thought I had all this time for training. I thought I was super woman, and could do everything on my to-do list (house cleaning, dinner, dishes, laundry, running, working my full-time job, and working on advertising the fundraiser, etc). Well sometime in February I came down off of a ladder wrong and it messed up the back/side of my knee. I thought it had gotten better after a few weeks, because it wasn't hurting when I would walk. I started running after my miscarriage, and the knee pain was back. About a month or so ago I went to my chiropractor to try and get me back to running. That has what worked in the past to help get me back to running and staying injury free.

After several weeks working with him, it still hasn't improved. The pain doesn't hurt when I walk anymore, but only after I run. It doesn't matter how many miles I run, I will still get the pain. So until it fully heals, I won't be able to go running. Which is SO disheartening.

I've been pretty upset about it, BUT with all the fundraiser stuff going on I haven't made had time to exercise. So in a way it's made it a little easier, because I have another goal I'm working towards accomplishing. I've spent a LOT of my time after my full-time job, is designing flyers, talking to businesses about hanging our flyers up in their window, and I've been trying to advertise on any and all social media.

With that said, the fundraiser is going to rock our world! Chase and I (as well as several other people) have put so much time and effort into getting it awesome that it can only turn out awesome, right!?! Crossing our fingers that this will be a huge success.

I've turned my focus more on trying to raise this money instead of exercising. I know how important exercise is to me. I will get back to running as soon as I start feeling better - but with all injuries it will take time to heal. This to me is just a set back. I'm working on strength training while during the moments I don't feel so overwhelmed. I think when we have setbacks in life, we should always remember these things:




________________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are Have You Ever Noticed...

Tuesday, May 17


Have you ever noticed that when you watch a movie or TV show, the characters are not on social media? They aren't on YouTube watching videos, they aren't on Facebook playing games or scrolling through their news feed. They are actually living their lives and doing it without being "social" and actually being social with real human interaction.

Have you noticed that sometimes you may get a mean and nasty comment from someone who doesn't understand your life circumstances, but feels the need to tell you how to live your life, or how you shouldn't be living your life? All the while parked behind the screen of a computer or a smart phone. Thinking that they need to share their opinion willingly, without a thought that it would hurt that persons feelings.

Have you noticed that our society has moved from playing outside, being creative with our time, playing board games, puzzles, reading real physical books and magazines to all things technology and electronics?

Have you noticed that we live in a fast paced world? Our movies and TV shows have increased with speed. In one episode of a TV  show someone gets hurt and they are able to catch the bad guy in that same episode - when in reality life really isn't that way. We want more action, more drama. We want more, and are constantly on the go.

Have you noticed instead of talking to people in person, we started talking to each other on the phone, which in turn now the younger generation (millennials) are switching towards just texting whether that be on a phone or on through chatting online (Facebook messenger/Instagram messenger) instead of in person or on the phone.

Have you noticed that when you are on social media, you see pregnancy announcements, birth announcements, kids (who would have been your child's age if you hadn't miscarried) birthday parties, infertile friends after their 2nd IVF cycle and finding out they got pregnant and how you're on your 4th or 5th IVF cycle, one of your running friends qualify and get to go and run The Boston Marathon - you end up seeing things that have this negative effect on you. It can cause this comparison game inside you, which causes you to feel you are missing out on something.

So wanting more and having this mentality that we constantly need to be going 100% of the time, can really hurt our relationships. We sometimes though not intentionally ignore those around us, instead of building those bonds of friendship. Being on our smart phones and social media all day - we don't get a lot of interacting done with those around us. Which can negatively impact us by seeing and reading things that could play with our emotional baggage that we are carrying around.

I'm one of those that has to be going 100% of the time. There are only a few times where I'm not that way; I'm either sick, at church, or a doctor says I can't (Princess Days). Chase has told me over and over again to just sit down and relax. When I first joined Instagram I felt this need to constantly check my feed and "like" every picture I saw. I got so overwhelmed with the need to "stay on top" of my feed. Crazy right? I felt that way about blogs I followed too. I felt the need to read every post and stay on top of it all. But you know what? I felt SO overwhelmed with trying to stay on top of what everyone else was doing, rather then being able to focus on my own relationships, especially my relationship with my spouse. 

We shouldn't fee this need to stay on top of our news feeds. We shouldn't worry about stupid, dumb criticizing comments - when they were probably just looking for a rise out of us. We should be putting our phones down and living our lives without social media. Remember there was a time when there wasn't Facebook or even MySpace, let alone Instagram or Pinterest.

Chase made a change a couple of years ago and vowed to never get on Facebook ever again. Since then, he's not missed it one bit - because he stayed in contact with the people that really mattered most. There have been lots of comments to Chase getting off of Facebook saying: "oh, that's a really great idea - but I don't think I could do that," or "that's a great idea - but that's how I stay in contact with family and friends," or "that's a great idea - but I'm on a few support group pages" (that last one was one I said to him). I hope you get my point. Those people think their social lives revolve around social media - but your social life shouldn't be one that revolves around a computer or a smart phone.

Do you think you could go a day or even a few days without worrying about your news feed? Do you think you could go a day or even a few days without worrying about posting new content on social media - and that includes blogs AND Pinterest? Let's make a change and go a day without getting on social media - heck! throw in not watching TV too and see how productive your day can be!

Remember that our lives don't need to revolve around staying on top of what everyone else is doing, because frankly we see a lot of the stuff that we want (babies, being able to pay for endless IVF cycles, pregnant ladies, etc) but the only way to get the stuff we want is by working hard and living our lives, being with those that really matter - not viewing everyone else's lives.
__________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are Reflecting on Mother's Day

Sunday, May 8


I listen to quite a few podcasts ranging from running podcasts to Dave Ramsey to infertility podcasts. Well I was listening to one this morning and it helped me to want to reflect on my own mother and her example that she's given me.

I'm the oldest in my family and my parents got divorced when I was 11. I lived with my mom and she did everything - I mean she had to make money as well as raise 3 kids. That takes a lot of work. I will admit I was the guinea pig. I was the one that seemed to get the worst punishment out of my siblings and was the one that my siblings hopefully looked up to. The good things that Mom really stressed to me growing up was:

1. Never wear flip flops to church - you wear your Sunday best, and I had church shoes, so I had to wear my church shoes which weren't flip flops.
2. We always went to church and school - like always. She basically said that if we don't go to church/school, then we can't go do other things after. Which meant we weren't allowed to have fun. 
3. She went to church every Sunday whether us kids wanted to go or not. She was that rock and example that we needed. 
4. She taught me the principle of work. Though talking about money and how to use my money, with either parent was unfortunately taboo. 
5. She helped me understand that we need Christ in our life. She helped me grow my own strong testimony of Him.

This weekend I wanted to focus on reflecting on a woman in your life that has been a wonderful example to you, whether that is your mother or not. Focus on other great women around you, not necessarily what your own circumstances are at the moment. There are a lot of great strong women we can look up to (even those women in the scriptures), and that is who I want to think about.

It seems like for the past 7 or so years that we've been struggling, I always seem to focus on me and how I've NOT been able to become a mother. To be honest I've grown numb to people who say "you're still a mother." I feel that I'm not sometimes and other times I feel like I am. One example that I have been a mother is, I was getting ready to play a soccer game with friends last summer and their son wanted me to hold him, not his mom. He really made an effort to show me that he wanted ME to hold him. Which I admit, made me feel like $1,000 bucks. Being an "aunt" to my friends kids helps me feel that I can help be a mother like figure to them.

I think you can still be a mother or a mother like figure to those who surround you. Staying on the straight and narrow path to be able to be with your potential posterity is something that we need to be doing. Doing things that God wants us to do, like reading our scriptures, praying and attending church. A mom (whether it's yours or another mom) is a good example of what you wanna be when you grow up, right? I know my mom wasn't perfect, but she sure tried and I think she did a pretty good job at raising me

This Mother's Day instead of focusing on the inward feelings we may be feeling, lets focus on the good, strong women that are in our lives. Those good women who are strong in faith, charity, hope and the goodness that we feel from Christ. Surrounding yourself with those women will help you create a better self, and help us to have a better attitude with being selfless and caring towards others. 

My challenge for this Mother's Day is to think of a few women in your life and tell them/show them how much they mean to you. If you can't/aren't able to let them know, then write down your feelings in a journal. 
_______________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility

Things that are "Running with Infertility Virtual 5k"

Monday, May 2



Chase and I are holding a fundraising event on June 4. At our fundraising event we're having a yard sale, bake sale, meet-n-greets with characters and then we're having a food truck round up; which will all be great. We also set up a Go Fund Me account to help with the costs of IVF.

After setting up the fundraising event on Facebook, there were a few people who asked if this was going to be a running race (I guess it had a lot to do with my blog name). We thought about it for a little while, and then decided to take the plunge and created a Virtual 5k, Called "Running with Infertility Virtual 5k."

Our hope with this race is that:

1. It will help us be able to try again for another try at IVF
2. We are hoping it will bring in enough revenue to help another couple
3. It will help spread infertility awareness.

Here are the details of the race, if you would like to participate:

Race Period: June 4-30, 2016
Distance: 5k (3.10 miles)
Cost: $30-35 (you get a medal, but the shirt is optional)

You can register for the event HERE.

We're using a site called Red Podium to help us with the event registration. I'm in the process of setting up a Facebook Event Page so you can post your pictures and times. We'll post updates; like what the shirts will look like as well as the medals. If you choose to sign up I will be sure to post it on the event registration page.

This is what our shirts will look like this year:

_________________________________________
Other places you can find me:
Instagram: @runningwithinfertility1
Pinterest: Running with Infertility
Twitter: @runwinfertility
Bloglovin': Running with Infertility
Email: runningwithinfertilityATgmail.com
Facebook: Running with Infertility